Category: Essay

Looking at kids, I often feel complexed feelings. There are some sayings about children. “A child is a mirror of an adult”. “A child is shaped as what and how parents teach and educate”…and so on. One also said, “Do not expect children to be innocent and pure but look at them how much they act nasty and cruel like little brats. You would see all kinds of dirty and messy scenes from their playing like grown ups”. I often notice that honestly.

Once they are so cute and lovely but I also find out the real basic instincts from their acts as a human. Sometimes I am confused what is the difference between humans and animals whenever I see their uncultivated real faces. An adult is obviously a cultivated figure through lots of socializing and training for a long time. The difference is that adults know how to express their hidden desire wrapped with sophisticated manner and masks not to be blamed by others while children reveal it wide open without any shame, guilty feeling, or hesitation.

A child before cultivation does not know about right and wrong or good and bad. He or she totally follows their instincts and does whatever they want. Adults could call them rude and spoiled but they are just honest with their true feelings as they do not have any filters in their brain and followed actions by that. Actually cultivating a human is also mostly about inserting lots of customs and taboos that a society has built. Who could guarantee the society trains and educates children right as it is changed and all different by time and places in every country?

Children often ask me why they should not do certain acts or saying but mostly I also do not know the answer clearly but happen to force them to follow my order because it could be out of control in my guess. Losing control is the worst situation I could imagine around me.

Reminding my childhood, I just feel amazed how they could be so free and liberal to talk whatever they want as I could have just kept silence afraid of disciplines from teachers and parents. I think they know too much information from Youtube and internet these days.

Yet, kids could be very vulnerable to be exposed to violence and abusing as they are not fully capable to express their thoughts and recognize what is going on around them. Thus adults have obligations to protect them enough from harmful environments because certain incidents might affect on their whole life and mental health.

Though it is also true that lots of bullying or abusing things are conducted under the name of principles or disciplines as some news shows. I often hear that some parents teach their kids using sticks or physical punishment if it is needed. Also kids say some teachers often hit part of their body to train them and their parents are acceptable with that. This makes me very uncomfortable and assume that it would be far away for kids to have their proper rights as a kid in some countries.

Honestly, I also feel hard to control my emotion when a lousy kid acts rude and impulsive. It is always a huge challenge for me to talk to them without losing temper and patience in certain situations. Regardless, adults should be acknowledged with the limit of disciplines what to do or not to do. Otherwise, it only gives a bad influence on children and it can not be the ‘Education’ anymore.

Recently, I am very interested in minimalism. The thought came out when I looked into my closet which was full of clothes but I still could not have enough of it every in the morning although I bought it once in a while. You have it enough and buy it enough but you still don’t have it enough. I don’t know what this really means.

As I had clean the stuffs in my space, it seemed like the endless closure. I had sold, shared and thrown things away but another thing constantly came out again and again from somewhere. I could see my infinite desire and obsession clearly through those materials. The products I bought whenever I had felt emptiness and vagueness and tried to fulfill it with things but could not succeed after all.

This time, I have determined myself I would not make same mistakes and be very cautious to set up my space again. Then it is another joy and needs some creativity not to fill it with some clumsy garbages. First, I would empty my bedroom with nothing but only bed blankets. Next, I have no idea yet what to do with a living room area though because I also not get used to the too empty place. I feel nervous and strong gut to fill the area with things. I searched on some You tube channels about minimalism styled living rooms but it still seems with overly items. As I could move to another place, I do not want to struggle again with heavy moving stuffs. I would not possess a thing if it is a burden to remove.

Do I need to spread some rug sheets on the floor and leave it as it is as an exercising or meditation spot? Or do I need a comfortable desk and chairs for reading or dinner space at least? I may need that small luxury in that case. A comfortable couch is definitely tempting but I used to feel stress with the huge space consumption of it so must skip for that. I would definitely not buy a TV this time for sure. Or I may need the screen on the wall to watch You tube or internet vods. It could be wonderful if it is a bit big like a small home theater.

Buying an old camping car and fixing it is the best option but I don’t know how to drive and fix it so it would be better delay as the next project. Until then I may need a small truck to come and go. It is hard not to drive as I am almost a blind in direction. I mostly take a walk over an hour and turn around a whole town for five minutes destination.

For cooking stuffs, I only need a stainless pan and a small cattle. I would not buy tons of sources and plates as it always bugged my nerves whenever I had opened the shelves before. The kitchen was the last place I gave up to tidy up so another person did it instead of me when I moved in and out. It would not happen again this time. I would rather choose to eat out if I have to buy stuffs for cooking.

Nevertheless, I would may need a small electronic cooking pot which could make tons of dishes with a few buttons and it seems real practical. Other than that I would not buy anything really. My seven boxes have not arrived yet from the old place so I would consider to buy anything after that if I really need things.

Nowadays, I am trying to do on a diet using certain diet products. For the diet, a person should not have any meal but only the package of it in a mug cup for one time bite.

It is surely ridiculous human eat overly then try harder to lose it with lots of cost (I do not pay it though as I got it for free). Skipping the feed, it gives me awkward feeling and boredom. I have had something to do at least during the snacks. Then I have to do something else to furfill the time.

I have realized how long I have been consuming my daily routine with meal to forget the boredom with no reason. I often ask people to have lunch or dinner together when I am bored but not hungry. I go grocery shopping to buy food but rarely cook. I order delivery food or eat out whenever I need some fresh change. I constantly search for something to bite. I was obsessed with food to get out of the boredom.

Then I do not know what to do for the extra time without food by this diet. It feels like I have lost the enormous pleasure of my life. Of course, I enjoy things for hobby but still have lots of time to fill in. It does not mean I want to work out hard, try sweating on my body or torture my brain with heavy tasks.

I miss the time I was so captured with something else that I almost forgot to have nutrients only focusing on it. Skipping meal was typical as having food seemed to be waste of time when I was on the state. Currently I feel a bit nervous with the gap what to do instead of eating.

I have always sought for activity or productivity such as movies, art, work out, and so on. I had no idea food was one of them since I have seen that is a natural cycle on a daily basis.

The Playground for All Generations

Last weekend, I stayed overnight at the Korean Spa & Sauna with my friend after taking some massage. There were tons of different people struggling to sleep in among noisy and messy crowds.

Usually, I come early to sleep at home but waited for breakfast and sauna in the morning. As I guessed, it was real uncomfortable to sleep there. I have always wondered why such many people leave their comfortable home and try to stay a night at the messy place.

It’s a dating place for couples, gathering zone for family, relaxed heaven for moms, and a playground for kids. It is even a sweet shelter for a lonely homeless. In fact, it looks more like a refugee center.

My friend constantly complained how it is not so clean to use and share stuffs with so many people. Though I have never found a perfect place which satisfies all ages at once to relax and take a rest like this in South Korea whether I like it or not. It is a rare phenomenon which is hard to see anywhere in the world.

Some think people are there because they are crazy about sauna. I think people are there to away from loneliness and find some comfort among other people as today is the age of nuclear family.

It is a bit sad that we don’t have a huge land so that people gather inside of the building rather than go outside to enjoy nature and sunshine.